Too deep for life

I have less than a month more to go. Nope.. 

I deserve better. Off I go.

Greetings from Amsterdam.

How if I die on my birthday....?

How if I die on my birthday....?

How if I die on my birthday....?

Danke

Thank you for all the wishes. Thank god for fb birthday reminder. (...right....) 

I am upset about something. 

There are cctvs in the house, but I don't know where. I bet they know what I'm doing right now: scratching my butt. I am home alone. This time, I am really home alone. Everyone is out. Luckily I have porridge to eat. I thought I have the whole house to myself; until a worker came. The neighbor told her there is no one at home, but still she rang the bell like a mad woman. Without any greeting or introduction, she asked me to let her in. To me, she's a stranger. Moreover on a Saturday. I told her, if I wasn't around, she doesn't get to come in. She just walked around like she knows the house more than I do. Yes, she knows the house better. Intrusion. This is one of the reasons why I rather stay in the room the whole day and come out at night. Which makes the whole sleeping-during-daytime thingy reasonable. Since I don't feel comfortable in my own house. Right... my house(?). During high school, I feel like killing myself living in this house! The boss shouldn't complain that we went out too often, stayed out too long, or stayed inside the room like someone committed suicide inside. 

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I thought last night would be nice to call some girls out and hang out. After much thought, I decided to at least do something for myself. Not everyone I called could make it. Obviously. Kinda ******. She called me to check on me. It was past midnight when mom called. I was quite reluctant to answer, but I thought I have the perfect legal excuse. She asked if I was gonna drink. I said yes. She must have thought that I never had booze fest! She asked me not to drink. I guess funnier things happen when both your parents are heavy drinkers. Their kids are not encouraged to follow. Then, they will give you alco-education, all the bad thing about alcoholic beverage. They should tell themselves. Funny la these people... So fucking funny. 

Dancing in the Dark

Like my new nose?

Diana Krall's back on my playlist. Cry me a river. Swam in the river, towards the sea. I don't know what am I crapping about. What's the catch? 

Quite a number of people has been asking me what do I want. I didn't know that I get to request! The last gift I got for someone was, I think, a bottle of Moët and wine for the party. I don't know whether I am being too picky or not used to being ask what I really want, I just can't say it out. You know what would be best? Yourself. 

Cheers.

I am really tired of all this. Can I stop it? I don't know what will the outcome be if I do. All I want now is to get it off my mind.